Child of single breasted mother likely cross-eyed, sexually warped for life

Joshua James Fulton was born a healthy child but a rare mammary disease afflicting his mother will likely cause the child serious ocular problems, possibly for the rest of his life.

Optometrist and early childhood development researcher Dr. Stan Morley explains that the rare disease known as monomammariosis that caused Fulton’s mother to develop a single right breast as opposed to a traditional set of breasts will seriously alter her son’s sight and his eventual ability to judge potential sex partners based on the symmetrical nature of their chests during puberty and perhaps for the rest of his life.

“While most children’s eyes develop with two regular focal points, young Joshua’s eyes are drawn solely to his mother’s single breast rendering him cross-eyed…potentially for life.  That is only the beginning of the struggles this boy will face throughout his lifetime,” said Morley.  “In comparison, think about that friend you have who can only get off to midget porn.  His actual chance of finding a midget who he is compatible with in real life is slim to none.  Now consider poor Joshua.  92% of children with mothers conflicted with monomammariosis grow up to only be attracted to women with the same diagnosis which is a significantly smaller percentage of the population than those afflicted with dwarfism.  The best case scenario for Joshua is that he is one of the 10% who will also be attracted to breast cancer survivors who have had single mastectomies.”

While Joshua has a long road ahead of him, grandparents on his father’s side are confident that corrective lenses will eventually get his eyes straight and that the strong Fulton family history of marrying two-breasted women will eventually come to fruition through Joshua as well.