Life of Party Dies in Predictable Car Crash

January 24, 2011

James "Chugs" Hauser

In a tragic turn of events Friday night, high-school student and self-proclaimed party animal James “Chugs” Hauser lost his life when his car veered off the road and into a lamp post in Algona, IA.

“He was just going out to get a couple more cases of beer,” sobbed friend and wing-man Joel Newman upon hearing the news.  “I mean, we all kind of knew he would die from drunk driving, but I’ve seen him drive so much drunker than that before.”

Police said Hauser’s blood alcohol level was .09%, just slightly above the legal limit and that he might have been additionally distracted by sending text messages while driving.

“He always texted while he drove,” said Newman.  “In fact he sent me this really funny one right before…”


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