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World Cup Hero Dies From Blow Job Overdose

January 6, 2011

In a tragic turn of events, Spain’s Andres Iniesta suffered a heart attack following days of non-stop blowjobs from adoring fans, star-struck chiquitas, and even current Minister of Defense Carme Chacón.

Iniesta died less than 72 hours after scoring the winning goal in the second overtime of the 2010 World Cup championship game against the Netherlands.  The midfielder had apparently been on an oral-sex drought before heading to South Africa for the World Cup and decided to cash in on his recent heroism in a constant stream of felatio.

Doctors cite the continuous rushing of blood away from Iniesta’s cardio vascular system following days of endless hummers as the main reason for his heart’s failure.  Iniesta was 26 years old.

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