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Man Finds Only “Not Fat” Girl on Craigslist

January 6, 2011

Plattsmouth, NE–After years of seeking and meeting women on Craigslist personals, Plattsmouth resident Greg Epstein finally found what he was looking for; a woman of a healthy weight.

“I kept reading about these really sweet, sexy and fun girls on Craigslist only to meet them and find out they were fat,” Epstein said shaking his head.  “After giving up hope of ever finding a slim girl and finally settling for the fact that I would date heavy internet girls for the rest of my life…along came Anna.”

Anna Sojack recently got out of a six-year relationship and thought she would like to get back in the game as quickly as possible so she posted an ad on Craigslist.  The rest was history in the making.

In his previous six years of Craigslist dating Epstein wound up meeting 24 overweight women, 7 obese women, and one heavyset transvestite.  Of those “women” he wound up dating four of them and wienering (at least once) 12 of them.

“I really never thought this day would be here,” said Epstein with a twinkle in his eye.  “I always just figured guys like me didn’t deserve to have intercourse with healthy attractive women.  I guess all of these years in the trenches have finally paid off.”

Epstein has not only suffered the Craigslist curse in the personal section, but has suffered so elsewhere on the website as well.  His response to an ad for free kittens in July of 2006 resulted in ownership of an overweight six-week-old male tabby named Mortimer who would die months later after ingesting an entire stick of butter which was left unattended on the counter following a good old-fashioned Nebraska corn roast at Epstein’s home.

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